Oh So Simpatico!

JUST US SISTUHS! -- KEEPIN' IT REAL!

Copyright © 1999 by Valerie Leigh Streeter

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BOBBI

What's so special about this guy anyway that makes him not just any guy?

TRACI

Well, nothing really. He's just someone I thought I had something good going on with, that's all. Until he stood me up ... again.

ROCHELLE

Ummm, that's no way to treat somebody.

TRACI

I'm so sick of that! You know, you try so hard to understand men and just when you think you've got them figured out, they do something else that leaves you completely stupefied.

BOBBI

Oh girl, you haven't said a thing. Don't you know there is no understanding men? And they're just as bad at understanding us as we are at understanding them.

SHANTE

So that's what's got you so tied up in knots and ready to put your foot up his butt? He stood you up? Is that all?

BOBBI

That's enough, isn't it?

SHANTE

I know, I know, I'm just joking. It gets me mad crazy when that happens, too.

JANELLE (Looking from TRACI to BOBBI)

Oh come on, don't think that being stood up is a trait exclusive to the male gender. Women do that mess, too.

SHANTE

Yeah, we do, but I think men have the monopoly on it. How many times have you heard a brutha say to his boys (mocking) "Man, she stood me up. I'm so hurt. What should I do?"?

JANELLE

Well maybe they do, but maybe they don't talk as freely to women about stuff like that. Ego and all. You know.

ROCHELLE (Laughing)

Yeah, but they still talk to each other, don't they? They may not sit around sipping tea, eating dainty finger sammiches, and shooting the breeze, but men do talk to each other.

JANELLE

But they don't talk to us.

ROCHELLE

Naw, maybe they don't. But talk or not, men are still bad about standing women up--

SHANTE

Wait, you saying women do it more than men?

JANELLE

No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that it happens.

TRACI

No disputing that. But, I mean, come on, who hasn't once or twice?

BOBBI

I think it's something that's more common than people are willing to admit--among both sexes--but I don't think women make it a routine practice.

JANELLE

Well I guess I see it a little different because my situation is different.

SHANTE (To JANELLE)

How many times would you say, since you've been involved with women, that you've been stood up? Just take a quick guess.

JANELLE

I don't know; I'd say a dozen or so. I'm not sure. Who keeps track of stuff like that anyway?

TRACI

Well I do because I know how much it ticks me off.

BOBBI

Traci, why were you wasting your time with a man that's prone to standing you up? I mean, I know he's probably good looking and all, but come on, girl.

TRACI

I know, I know. But you know, sometimes we like to play that Florence Nightingale role. I thought I could save him.

(ROCHELLE shifts her body on the sofa to face TRACI, leans back slightly and cocks head for emphasis)

ROCHELLE

Save him from what? Or from who?

TRACI (Matter-of-fact)

From himself, of course.

SHANTE (Joking)

Alright Mother Theresa. You go and try to save his poor, decrepit soul.

(All the women laugh)

TRACI

But seriously, I don't know, I guess I thought I could make a difference. I mean, Tony's not an altogether bad brother, he just needs some help, that's all.

BOBBI

Help at whose expense? Girl, you gonna get yourself all messed up trying to help him out.

TRACI

Well it's all moot now, 'cause brotherman is out the door!

SHANTE

Kicked to the curb, huh?

TRACI

That's right! I waited five days (holds up hand and spreads fingers apart for emphasis) to talk to him after he stood me up--and I was the one who had to call him to get an explanation.

BOBBI

That's one thing I always hated doing.

ROCHELLE

What's that?

BOBBI

Having to play detective.

JANELLE

Detective?

BOBBI

That's right--private eye all the way. Dick Tracey is not my game. If you get stood up, you should not be the one who has to call and find out what happened.

(TRACI laughs hysterically)

TRACI

Dick Tracey, get it? Tracey? Traci?

(The women look at her until she finished laughing)

TRACI

Ohhhh, sorry 'bout that. Boy that just tickled me. Dick Tracey. Ummmm.

(ROCHELLE gets up for a donut and muffin, returns to the sofa, and sits down heavily, jarring TRACI, who looks irritatingly at ROCHELLE)

SHANTE

Well you know what's happening, don't you? Men obviously think that as women, we're stupid or naive or that we're supposed to turn a blind eye to that mess.

TRACI

Yup.

SHANTE

Like they're supposed to disappear for three or four days and that'll give us time to chill--

TRACI

--and when they finally decide to call, if they call--

SHANTE

--they can jump into conversation like nothing went down.

TRACI

And you know the first thing they'll say to us if we mention it or get upset?

BOBBI

                What's that?

TRACI (In deep masculine voice)

"Why you gotta have an attitude?"

SHANTE

Or they'll fall into that "Why you trippin'?" role. Or say we're PMSing. Yeah, I got their PMS, alright.

BOBBI

I can't think of anybody who enjoys being stood up. It hasn't happened to me since I've been married, but I still remember what it felt like.

SHANTE

I'm here to tell ya.

JANELLE

What makes a person put up with that?

(pause)

(JANELLE, ROCHELLE, SHANTE and BOBBI look at TRACI)

TRACI

Why're ya'll staring at me? Men may make a habit of standing women up, but this woman here doesn't make a habit of putting up with it! Good gracious.

 

 

END EXCERPT #3